July 23, 2011

A few days ago my family and I spent the day at Schlitterbahn – also known as “The Hottest Coolest Time In Texas”. It’s a water park that’s been voted #1 in the country for 13 straight years.

Every time that we’ve gone, the plan has been to get there really early so we don’t have to wait in long lines in the sweltering heat to get on the rides. It finally occurred to me this time that everyone else is thinking the same thing, so there’s no real value to getting up early and rushing to get there.

My 15 and 12 year old daughters brought 3 of their friends who had never been there before.

Upon arrival, we went through our usual routine of getting a locker for our valuables and securing a covered picnic table where we could stash our coolers. That’s one of the coolest things… they let you bring your own food. You just put it under the table and nobody messes with it.

There is one small caveat. They search your cooler for glass and alcohol when you come through the door. Not that big of deal. At least you don’t have to subject yourself to an enhanced pat down by the TSA.  Come to think of it, what does a terrorist in a swim suit look like?

Once settled, it was a bee line to the tower where you can choose to ride The Master Blaster, The Wolf Pack, or The Black Knight. The girls chose the Master Blaster even though the wait was 1 hour and 45 minutes. We chose the Wolf Pack because the wait was ONLY 45 minutes to an hour.

The Wolf Pack is kind of like 3 Men In A Tub with water pushing you down and around a fast curvy chute. I was facing backwards this time and got the benefit of hearing the screams and seeing the expressions on the faces of my wife and daughter.

After that, the girls all decided to explore things together and we decided to leisurely ride the Torrent River. It’s a circle of water about 5 ft. deep that winds around the park and has a strong current accompanied by small Tsunamis at various points for added thrills. Most people ride inner tubes provided by the park but you can go solo as well.

We kind of lost track of time and in our fun ended up going around a lot more times than I realized. That resulted in me actually getting a little sea sick from the jostling water and the heat. Nothing bad though, just a little uncomfortable. At that point it was around noon so we decided to stop and get something to eat. Isn’t food the cure for everything?

After lunch the girls headed to the original part of the park and we went to Boogie Bahn. I was still feeling a little sluggish so my wife found me a lounge chair that we strategically placed beneath a big oak tree. I decided to take a nap while she waded into the Crystal River. It’s similar to The Torrent River but without the Tsunami surges.

While trying to take a nap it occurred to me just how derned hot it was. I was in the shade with my cap over my eyes and I had to keep adjusting my cap just to breath. I felt like weanie on one of those hot dog rotisseries.

After about 45 minutes I got up and felt a lot better. It was at that point that I spotted the people next to me feasting on chocolate ice cream from a cornucopia disguised as a waffle cone. It was a signal from God that I needed some ice cream to be whole again.

So we set out looking for an ice cream oasis. We found one and I zeroed in on the mint chocolate chip. It really was what the Dr. ordered, me being the doctor of course and at that point I was completely revived. So I took advantage of one last ride in the original park before heading back to meet the girls. The ride was called Soda Straws. And if I don’t go down the Soda Straws when we go to Schlitterbahn… it’s as if we didn’t go at all.

Once back at the Torrent River concrete beach my wife and I put some beach chairs in the water to just relax and observe people having fun. So what did I observe?

A man that was so hairy he looked like he was half ape.

People with tattoos ranging from the interesting to the WTH ridiculous.

More cleavage than a night at the Oscars.

A guy with nipple rings.

A girl that was 6 ft. tall with pink hair and tattoos that snaked around her body from her shoulders to her feet. She even had a wedge of hair cut out of the top side of her head where her scalp was inked. I’m sure if I had a chance to talk to her I’d find she was really “sweet”.

I saw all different sizes of people from the anorexic to the morbidly obese.

But one of the most interesting things I observed was people trying to get out their inner tubes when they washed up close to shore. Many couldn’t get out because they let themselves get too close to shore and they didn’t have the buoyancy of the water to help push them out. They ended up having to roll out onto their stomachs onto the cement. And once out, many of them in their forties and fifties had a helluva time just trying to stand up without help. It was kind of funny until I thought about what other things they couldn’t do because of their poor physical conditioning.

It made me realize there are a lot of people who could use my help.

We don’t stop exercising because we grow old. We grow old because we stop exercising.

July 18, 2011

When you start down the road to a healthy life it’s important to have a good idea from whence thou comest. Uhhh… say what Bevis? In contemporary terms; what’s your status? Do you know how much you weigh or at least what your measurements are?

Becoming healthy is progressive. It’s not going to happen overnight. Just as you got to your current condition a little bit at a time, it will take time to become fit and healthy. So the first thing you need to have is a clear picture of yourself. You may not like it. It may not be pretty. But you have to see and accept your current state so that you can start moving from where you are and toward what you actually want.

What we’re talking about here is the joy of transformation.

I have mixed feelings about goals and setting goals but what I do know is this

The difference between a dream and a goal is a PLAN.

While visualization is important, you’re not going to dream your way to the body you want. What it takes is commitment and a plan of action.

So yeahhh… Look at yourself naked in the mirror. The point is not to make yourself feel bad. The point is to be clear about your starting point. It’s that honesty with yourself that will allow you to start tracking your progress. So don’t get started without the numbers.

In my book, “The Untold Secrets To Fitness Fast After Forty”, I provide you with a page for before and after pictures. It’s very motivating if you use it. But not knowing the numbers means not being committed. And being committed is the hardest exercise you’ll ever do.

But you can do it! Yes you can. One rep at a time.

July 11, 2011

Yesterday was my daughter’s 15^th birthday. Like many families, it’s tradition that we go out to eat on your birthday. While we could have gone anywhere, she decided she wanted to go to a hamburger joint.

We’d been to Fuddrucker’s and other local hamburger haunts so we were looking for something a little different. We chose a legendary place where none of us had eaten before with a reputation that spans from coast to coast. “Dirty Martin’s Kum-Bak Place”. The place is famous for having some of the tastiest and greasiest hamburgers known to man.

It’s near the “Longhorn worship center”, otherwise known as the University of Texas and it’s been around since 1926. Legend holds that it got its name “Dirty’s” because it still had dirt floors up until 1951.

We got there about 7:30 which is still a little early for their Sunday evening crowd. We had a choice of sitting up front on stools or booths by the grill, a backroom that was sort of a musty cave or outside on picnic tables with cool mist fans. We chose outside with the kool-zone fans.

I ordered the double cheese with mayonnaise, tomato, pickles and lettuce. It came with a mountain of shoestring fries and my wife agreed to order the onion rings with her burger so we could share more of the greasy goodness. Oh yeah! It was cheeseburger heaven. My son didn’t finish his bacon cheese burger so I got the opportunity chase my cheeseburger with a little of his bacon cheeseburger. Does it really get any better than that?

When we got home I had a modest piece of confetti birthday cake in my daughter’s honor, followed by a cup of Intense Chocolate ice cream. It’s chocolate ice cream with lots of solid chunks of chocolate and chocolate syrup. I’d say the name Intense nails it perfectly.

So why am I telling you all of this? Because I didn’t conjure up one ounce of guilt for the things I ate. Nor did I think about the calories I was devouring or worry that it was going to make me phat.

Let me share with you a couple of reasons why. 1) I don’t eat that way every day. 2) Three times a week I use a method of exercise called The 1-5-3 Fat Burning System. It only takes 15 minutes and burns away phat up to 9 times faster than traditional methods of exercise. So it’s like having a control knob for my health and fitness.

You can have this same control knob for your health too.